In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
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