I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I still have a little drunk in my system
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
