I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
You were trust falling into bushes
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