Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Randomize
