Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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