So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
