I wish you could order shots online.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Actions speak louder than pants.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
