I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Randomize
