Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Randomize
