Banned from zoo.
Again?
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
