i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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