It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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