I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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