he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
