I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
i need some magic done to my vagina
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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