when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
