The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
