exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
