Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
