i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
