wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
