just come out here and I will go home with you...
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
My boob is missing a layer of skin
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
