Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
