They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Randomize
