the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
