Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
