don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
