how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
