I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize
