You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Randomize
