How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
