my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I wish i was in the wii world.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Randomize
