Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
