i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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