Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
