Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
