so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
