So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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