He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
