remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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