i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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