Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
