I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
