porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I wish you could order shots online.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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