he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
