Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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