My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Oh god it's open bar.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
