just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Randomize
