...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
