dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Randomize
