marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
